|Visiting hours are over
||[Aug. 20th, 2008|01:39 am]
|||||The Cure - The Walk||]|
Things come up.
And then they go away.
And we go back to where we were.
And it's not the same as it once was.
And then it starts again.
Like reoccuring dreams.
Lost in a trance.
It comes again.
And then away.
Sometimes I really get weirded out by the way, footsteps follow one after the other. The little interactions. The familiar interactions.
You say hello, you talk to someone. You meet them. And they return the favour. And you're not quite sure what happened just there And then another. And some seem to last, and some seem to never have been there in the first place.
So sometimes it's easier to keep one's mouth shut. To keep interactions to a minimum. To make oneself so boring that hopefully people won't notice you.
Then when people act kind of familiar. You're kind of wondering just what they're about.
And it gets strange when people seem to describe your behaviours to you. Just today - there was this old cleaner - she was saying "How is he doing", "out into the cold .. " "coffee" "cigarettes", and so on.
And I start to recall just how boring I am. And what impression I must give off. People seem to associate those four things. She got them all!
And then, when slowing down.
I seem to start to notice that there can be more interaction.
And people start seeming like there's more to them.
More individualistic. Hey they seem like real people.
But, then, some people, they seem preoccupied. They say "How are you", in a way that only shows that they're showing the basics of social interaction; without really seeming to be there at all. And I start to wonder if I'm like that. Like some of them, I just feel that it'd be wasted to say anything in response.
Although, sometimes I notice. If you pause a little longer, they seem to want to talk more - and it's like oh, maybe they have quite a bit of (stuff I don't want to hear) to say. And maybe they're used to being ignored.
And I start to wonder about my levels of compassion. And all that. And then I once again remember that the best way to treat people, is as they treat you. Be level, be real. Keep things balanced.
And everything starts to fall into place again.
UNTIL THEY START BEING NICE TO YOU.
AND IT'S LIKE OMFG HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS
And suddenly it seems like there is some necessity to keep interactions closed once again.
No don't go too far - no enough - time to hold back.
Keep it simple. Keep it trivial. Too much for my weak soul to take.